Moving is not uncommon. In fact, the average person will move 11.3 times in their lifetime. In general, most of us see moving as adults as something positive. Maybe we got a new job, or we’re leaving our old town behind in search of a new job. Perhaps we’re moving to be with someone we love. It’s a change, but it’s generally regarded as a good one. It may feel weird, then, to hear that you could benefit from therapy after a big move. Here are three reasons why seeing a professional therapist is a good idea after making that big transition:
Emptied cardboard box with the flaps open standing on a wooden parquet floor conceptual of packaging, mail, storage, or removals
Moving is uncomfortable
Moving is necessary, but that doesn’t mean it’s a necessarily comfortable experience. When we say “comfortable,” we aren’t talking about finding a good apartment in a good neighborhood. That’s important, sure, but even the most luxurious apartment is still going to make you feel a bit weird and out of place at first.
In your old town, you were used to certain sights and sounds. You may have been used to your upstairs neighbor go outside to get the mail at 6 p.m., for instance, and potentially noticed your next-door neighbor ordered Chinese food every Friday.
In a new city, you must adjust to new patterns. That’s especially true if you went from a small or mid-sized city to a big town. Everything from parking to personal space is harder to find in big cities. Moving has a way of making you feel anxious or frustrated more often than you’d like. There will be plenty of times when you worry it’s obvious to everyone that you’re new in town and don’t really know what you’re doing. A therapist can help assuage those fears.
Moving can be isolating
As a kid or young adult, you have a lot of built-in opportunities to be social and find new pals. Often around your mid-to-late twenties, however, you’ll find that you no longer have the same proximity to potential friends as you used to.
If you’re lucky, the new place you’re living will also have a few familiar faces. But that doesn’t mean you’re going to be seeing them everyday. Weekly social events with the same group are also rare. If you tell an acquaintance that you’ve just arrived in town and they invite you out for drinks, it may take a month or two for you to actually meet up.
Then, there are ultra-competitive cities like Washington D.C. and New York CIty. People are obsessed with status and getting ahead in those places, so you may feel silly for trying to make friends in the nation’s capital while everyone else is trying to a statusy government job. Talking to a therapist in Washington DC can help you sort out your emotions. More than that, a therapist can help you with strategies for getting out there and being social in a way that is more likely to net you new friends.
It changes how you view yourself
We underestimate the importance of self-identity at our own peril. In your old town, you knew who you were. In a new place, seemingly everything about yourself is up for grabs. That’s exhilarating and also scary. An identity crisis in a new town is perfectly natural under those circumstances.
For instance, you used to be the person who got up and drove to work, but now you live down the street from a bus stop. Maybe you now want to be the type of person who gets up a little earlier to catch the bus into work and save gas money.
Moving is a way of saying “Who I am right now is not who I want to be.” You’re leaving behind the familiar in search of something that somehow improves your quality of life. Sitting down with a therapist and remembering why you made the move may help in those moments where you’re feeling aimless.
